Day Two

DAY Two

03-09-2002

7:30am

Solon

We ended up rolling into Solon at 7:30. Parked the bus in front of Ruggs house and passed out.

12:45pm

Solon

Wake up time. The thermometer was plunging, and the bus was getting mighty cold. Time to fix the window. We split up into two teams. One dedicated to fixing the window, and the other to fix the generator gas leak. The constant smell of gas was bad, but didn't compare to the annoyance of F&F saying every 15 minutes "I smell gas." Inside Ruggs' parents Jan & Pat have some killer bagels for us.

1:15pm

Solon

Primary, Tiny and Ruggs go off to find some beads. They roll up on a party store, and buy everything in their stock. The manager hooks em up with a sweet deal.

2:00pm

Solon

Primary, Tiny and Ruggs get back to home base with the beads just in time. Ruggs' neighbor, and first beautiful baby of the trip stops over. Our first bead is earned.

2:34pm

Solon

P and the gang purchased a new Lexan window, and managed to break it after shaping it to fit for about an hour. We decided to settle on a ghetto piece of wood cut to fit the hole for now. We got it cut and painted, and while waiting for the paint to dry a damn monsoon hit.

In a valiant move, P took one for the team and snatched up the piece of wood and ran it out to the bus in the torrential downpour. The next all seemed to play out in slow motion. P tucked the board under his arm like a running back. Through the door, over the driveway, in the grass, then WOAH! Board flying through the air, P flipping backward Matrix style. Boom! He hits the wet grass that has now turned into nature's slip & slide. And he's sliding. . .down, down. . under the car! Like a champ P slides back out, retrieves the board and continues running to the bus. And the window's in. . .the crowd goes wild!

4:00pm

Solon

Back to work on the gas tank. We get ready to apply the "Plastic Tank Fix" when we notice it says "Do not use on gas tanks." Tiny goes into a rage "We told that piece of crap at the hardware store it was for a gas tank! Aaaaah! Primary, Tiny & Ruggs pile into the car to return the goo. When they arrive at the hardware store, the cashier is not being agreeable.

Tiny: "Your guy sold us the wrong stuff, we would like to return this."

Cashier: "Sorry sir, we don't take returns without a receipt!"

Tiny: "We bought this from you just 15 minutes ago, don't you remember us?!"

Cashier: "Yes sir, I do, but it is company policy."

Tiny: "It's company policy to sell me the wrong damn thing, then not let me return it?!"

Cashier: "Sorry sir, company policy"

Tiny: "Tiny aaangry!!!" ::starts ripping his shirt, hulk style::

Cashier: "Calm down sir, I guess I can make an exception"

Tiny: "Thank you ma'am."

Returning with the proper epoxy, Primary and P get to work on patching the tank.

4:35pm

Solon

F&F, Clint, and Ruggs go on a beer run. Ruggs' neighbor Chuck takes Primary, AC and Tiny to Circuit City. Despite the fact that Chuck lives in Solon, it takes 2 hours to get to a Circuit City that is 15 minutes away. Total number of U-turns: 6. At Circuit City AC buys a high-powered light for his Hi8 camera for shooting in the club, and a firewire cable for downloading to the laptop. Tiny makes the greatest purchase of the entire trip when he buys a 5 megapixel Sony digital camera with a Carl Zeiss lens. On the way back to the Ruggles' we see many cool photo ops thanks to the monsoon. Torn off roofs, wicked car accidents, and trees fallen everywhere. Tiny doesn't get a pic of one as he doesn't figure out how to use the camera until we get home.

7:00pm

Solon

Everyone back at the Ruggles. Toys & beer: bought. Window & gas tank: fixed. The Ruggles are kind enough to provide us with another killer meal of huge deli sandwiches. Afterward we all grab a much-needed shower. Mucho props and kudos to Jan & Pat who put us up and gave us warm food and real showers during the monsoon.

9:00pm

On the Road

Finally on the road for Cleveland. While enroute P's window blew in. With some minor modification, we were able to get it back in.

9:20pm

Pregame

After a little Maximus Inspirationous we have a job to do. . .

And the traditional board break. . .

10:00

Cleveland

We struggle our way into Cleveland through 50MPH winds that are treating the bus like their bitch. While the snow wasn't too bad, the roads were getting icy. The bus slid sideways twice while coming into the city. Even though we were in the city, the Funky Buddha eluded us. After 3 calls for directions, and another hour of driving, we finally arrive.

The Funky Buddha

Dance Club

Hotty McSlutty

The Dope: This club has a reputation for being one of the hottest in Cleveland, and for good reason. The ladies are amazing, the atmosphere is tight, and the servers don't treat you like crap.

Chick to Dick Ratio: 9 2:1

Quality of Ladies: 10 Extraordinary. Every 3rd lady in this club is a perfect "10". Even the ugly friends routinely come in at 7-8.

Hospitality: 8 Our photographer in Cleveland, Bill Ripcho set us up with Tommy Kneiland, the club's manager. He took excellent care of us. Tommy got us parking for the bus right in front of the club, and set us up in the VIP section. 60 bones for parking and no free drinks dropped the score 2 points

Overall Score: 9 The club is tight and the ladies are hot, but it was $60 for parking for the bus and we ran up a $1000 bar tab in no time. The management was very accommodating and we highly recommend the Funky Buddha.

When we first rolled up on the Funky Buddha they were expecting the MaximRoadTrip bus. The valet drivers moved all the cars from the front of the club so we could stick the bus right out front. The bouncers pulled back the rope and let us in free of charge. We partied a little bit upstairs, then shot down to our VIP room on the lower floor. The VIP room was tight. It had a bunch of couches in a L shape with our own section of the bar, and our own bouncer, who, while shorter than Tiny, had tree-trunk arms

In addition to a personal bouncer, our VIP room came fully equipped with it's own hot server. She was very sweet and took excellent care of us. She even made time for a couple pictures with us.

After we got set up with our first round of drinks, we politely asked our server if she could bring some fine honeys back to our VIP room. She happily obliged.

When we tired of the waitresses picks, we decided to hit the dance floor and pick out some hotties ourself. We hit the dance floor with a critical eye, on a perfect "10" mission. We split up North East South & West. After about 30 minutes of "you, you, not you, and you. . .bring a friend." we populated our VIP room with about 27 beautiful babies.

Tiny spent most of the night behind the camera, but whenever he set it down he had the ladies crawling on him. What is it with photographers?

When the owners of the club heard how much fun we were having in the (now expanded to fit all the ladies) VIP room, they had to stop down to see what was going on.

When we grew tired of talking to and dancing with the ladies, we started randomly pairing them up, and requesting they make out. They were happy to oblige. . .