DAY ONE
03-08-2002
9:30pm
Oxford
Due to mechanical difficulties we were unable to make our 12:30pm departure goal. We tried our best to bust our nuts to get the bus going as we had a private club on the lake and VIP rooms at three bars in Cleveland waiting for us that night. Unfortunately our bus problems all involved flammable liquids and gasses. First off, when we got the LP tank hooked up it had more gas leaks than Ruggs after a chili smorgasbord. When we finally got that fixed, the gas tank for the generator started leaking. We all busted our nuts all night long to get the beast finished. Dice truly demonstrated his company #1 worthlessness by drinking beer all night, and not lending a damn hand. Primary's job was working on the underside of the bus. He spent more time on his back than one of Dice's hoes.
10:35pm
Cleaning the Bus
Once all the mechanical problems are fixed, fine tuned and tweaked to perfection, the crew works on cleaning the inside and outside of the bus. Primary and Flash’s job is to unclog the vacuum…never send two idiots to do a moron’s job.
Primary: “Did you take the tube out and swing it around?”
Flash: “Yeah, but I don’t know if it’s still clogged or not.”
::Primary and Flash stretch out the tube between them and look through each side.::
Primary: “Just blow through it dumbass…”
::Flash proceeds to blow shit all over Primary::
Bus
Next we worked on polishing the outside of the bus, which was more dirty than one of Dice’s hoes. Tiny, Clintorious and P set up spot lights, grabbed brushes and soap, and started scrubbing all the grunge off each side to prepare it for the “www.MaximRoadTrip.com” letters. The bus seemed to take forever to get clean. Now we know how Tiny feels when he’s washes his back. When P, Clintorious and Tiny are done washing the backside of the bus, the brushes are black. Primary, Flash and Dice freak out when they see this, as they "borrowed" the brushes from their firestation. They decide to soak the brushes in a bucket of bleach.
Christening of the MaximRoadTrip Bus
The 1962 GM Metro bus would never be the same. Before, it was just a bus. After, it would be every road tripper’s fantasy. The time had come to christen each side of the bus with the “www.MaximRoadTrip.com” vinyl lettering. The letters marked the beginning of the road trip. Nine people, ten days, and one “magic bus.” This is where it all began…
Every
day I get in the queue (Too much, Magic Bus)
To get on the bus that takes me to you (Too much, Magic Bus)
I'm so nervous, I just sit and smile (Too much, Magic Bus)
Your house is only another mile (Too much, Magic Bus)
-The Who
Final Touches
Primary went home to do some final packing. The rest of the group crammed the bus with clothes, snacks, waters and all other necessary items in any available nooks and crannies. Primary returned and we were finally on the road. About a block away, we noticed the ride was really rough. Oh yeah. ..we forgot to remove the 4x6’s that were jammed in the shocks. The 4x6’s were put there so Primary could fit his one-kidney frame under the bus to work on it earlier in the day. Of course with all the extra weight in the bus, the wood didn't want to come out. . .hehe. Time for a He-Man strength bus lift.
On the Road
We finally ended up getting on the road at 2:30am completely missing all of our scheduled hook-ups our Cleveland photographer Ripcho had set up for us. Oh well, at least we didn't have to get our shoes x-rayed.
Finally on the road. We made it 3 blocks before a window completely blew out of the bus. Oh well, AC was waiting for us in Columbus, so we pulled the window in, and got truckin' convertible style. Halfway to Columbus Dice remembers we left the firestation's brushes soaking in the bleach, and forgot to return them. . .d'oh!
4:45am
Columbus
AC was on the ball when he got to the Hilton at 6:30pm for his scheduled pick up. Too bad the bus didn't arrive till quarter till five in the am! Haahaa! When we finally hooked up with the kid he told he had been sleeping in the lobby until they kicked him out about an hour ago. Since then he had been chilling on the curb kicking it with the night security guard. Onward to Cleveland. . .
Day One by the numbers:
Hours Behind Departure Schedule: 14.5
Green Beers Tiny Drank While Everyone Else Worked: 9
Dice's Usefulness on a 1-10 Scale: 0
Cuss Words: 389
Gas Leaks: 3
Friends we Stood Up in Cleveland: 6
Additional Pictures From Day One
