DAY Nine
03-16-2002
12:29pm
Memphis, Tennessee
We woke up, and found a nasty rent-by-the-hour motel to shower at. We got two hours, and everyone got a shower. Some decided to double-dip and use the 1000 Elves as well. Primary made the unfortunate mistake of applying the elves before completely drying off. He will never do that again.
2:37pm
Wendy's
After showers, we sweep the bus at a car wash and pop into the Wendy's next door.
3:59pm
Pawn Shop
Quick stop at a pawn shop on the way to Graceland. Nothing of interest.
5:00pm
Elvis' Plane
Finally at Graceland, we buy the grand tour ticket for $30 bones. No flash photography and no video. Where is this Southern Hospitality we keep hearing about? Ruggs opts out so as not to run out of money again.
Oops!
5:29pm
Elvis' Mansion
Oh mama. . .Elvis' parlor.
Elvis' Dining Room
Elvis' Pool Table
The Jungle Room.
Oh, hell yeah!
The guns.
Elvis'
gold suit. No videos allowed.
Of course, when we exit the mansion, it begins to dump. We get a zoom shot of the eternal flame.
6:08pm
Souvenir Store
When we finished our tour, we were given the opportunity to purchase a souvenir photo. Being the cheap bastards we are, we took a picture of the photo. Who else's digital camera has picture in picture?
7:08pm
Elvis' Cars
Jamming to a little "Walkin in Memphis" we busted outta Graceland. We didn't get far before coming across. . .
Between AC's crushed velvet leisure jacket, and Primary's "M"axim shirt, there were many ThriftScores.
10:00pm
Lonestar Steak House Parking Lot
Enroute to Nashville, we stopped at a Lonestar steakhouse. We figured we could treat ourselves, as it would probably be the last meal of our trip. What? A one hour wait? No problem! We took the coaster-pager-thingy to the bus and pounded beers
10:56pm
Lonestar Steak House
For minutes ahead of schedule, our thing flashed. We locked up the bus and headed inside.
After being seated, we requested one cow for the table. We would split it as we see fit.
After being treated like crap at Graceland we thought Southern Hospitality was all but a myth. Or server disproved this.
At Lonestar, the topic de jur was religion. We had the full specturm popular belief represented at the table, from F&F the Catholic Republican, to AC the atheist. F&F took much abuse, but deflected it well. Primary argued that as the Bible was written by man it is inherently fallible and cannot be taken as the direct word of God, and some of the sillier passages may have been a misunderstanding similar to those found in a game of telephone. While Jesus might have said "I've got an itch, hand me a twig" a disciple might have scribed "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live." AC argued for The Big Sleep theory, while Ruggs preached that God is everywhere. When the conversation became really heated, we all suddenly realized this was too deep a topic for MaximRoadTrip, and returned to 3 day ongoing argument: "Who is more a badass: Indiana Jones, or James Bond."
12:15am
Heading to Nashville
Dice took the helm for the drive to Nashville, while everyone else slumped over in a food coma.
1:45am
Nashville
Being that the bars were closing, and we wouldn't have time to work the "Record producer looking to sign young talent" angle, we skimmed Nashville, then headed north, for home. The hardcore crew played late night bones while attempting to kill the remaining alcohol stash.
3:12am
Driving Rain
A little after three, we get hit by a monsoon. While Flash continually wipes a clear spot in the fog on the windshield so Dice can see, the rest of us hustle around to plug the 12 or so leaks in the bus.
Graceland by the Numbers:
Mullets Spotted: 9
Wild Shags Killed to Carpet Elvis' Mansion: 1368
Minutes of Illegal Video Footage Shot: 15
Southern Hospitality: 0
Pounds of Cow Eaten at Lonestar: 12
Beer Buckets Stolen From Lonestar With Help From Waitress: 1
Additional Pictures From Day Nine
